dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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