his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
