but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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