Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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