D3 body, D1 cock
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
