if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
