real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
