my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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