they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Did I show you my penis last night?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
