I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize