i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
