Did you just see the Batmobile???
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she told me i tasted like america
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
