Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
