Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
