She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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