I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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