from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
