i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
