i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
