Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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