it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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