Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
