nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
