we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
