so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
What a dumb baby whore.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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