so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
