I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
