Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
