I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize