you guys were way drunker than both of me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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