Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
