I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
