To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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