Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Its about making memories worth repressing
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
