I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
