so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
