I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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