his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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