I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm bleeding and have questions
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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