my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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