hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's always time for handjobs
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
