Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
