u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
