I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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