At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
