so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
