You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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