I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
