I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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