Umm I'm too high to move.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
