wakey wakey hands off snakey
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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