Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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