I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
