I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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