Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
