This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
