dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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