i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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