Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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