How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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