Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
