i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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